it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
