If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Less talking, more tequila
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
