I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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