you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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