I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
