just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
