So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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