there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
