plz talk dirty to me
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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