Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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