I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
