I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize