At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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