talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
