Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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