He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I'm both gender and math confused
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
