you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
