You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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