I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize