i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
