just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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