If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
