I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I have so many feelings about this burrito
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
