butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
