hotel room ftw
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
