Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
