I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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