So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Your topless pictures make me question reality
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
