as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
