I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
