Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
