i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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