i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize