Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
