Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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