He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
