love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
