high people should be assigned attendants
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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