Christians are straight up FREAKS
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
