i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
