You just made me feel so damn special
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
