it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I AM VODKA MAN
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
