Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize