carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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