a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
