I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
