got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
