Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
