I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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