so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
