I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
You ate ashes out of my bong
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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