You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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