Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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