If that was your dad, he is hot
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
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