its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
