well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
he high fived his dick after we had sex
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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