I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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