Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
