Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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