You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
