I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
